Understanding that a divorce may be coming in advance can be beneficial. It gives you time to plan. You can do things like gathering financial documents or considering what you want to do about child custody if you are a parent.
As such, it can be useful to look for red flags that signify a divorce may be on the horizon. One of those red flags is a change in the amount of arguing and disagreeing in your relationship. But it’s not quite as simple as it sounds.
Change happens in multiple ways
For example, if you and your spouse do not have a history of arguing and disagreeing, and it suddenly starts to happen, that could be indicative of deeper problems in the relationship. Maybe the two of you are fundamentally unhappy being together. If every little disagreement seems to turn into a big argument—when that wasn’t the case before—it could mean that the relationship is deteriorating.
But if the opposite happens, where you were engaging in frequent disagreements but they suddenly stop, don’t assume that means the relationship is getting better. This, too, can be a red flag indicating an upcoming divorce.
The issue may be that your spouse has already determined they want to file for divorce, even if they haven’t told you yet. They may simply not be putting in the time and energy to “win” any disagreements. They know they are going to leave the relationship soon, so the arguments stop.
If you do end up getting a divorce, be sure you understand all of your legal rights during property division, child custody decisions and other aspects of the process.
