Telling your children about your impending divorce is very important. It is a conversation they are likely to remember. It can help define their lives moving forward, and it has a big impact on how they deal with the changes that will occur in their lives.
So how should you have this conversation? Below are three important things to keep in mind as you move toward this next stage in your life.
It should be a family conversation
It is often best for you and your spouse to present a united front, so you should tell the children together. Additionally, it is wise to tell all the children at the same time. This helps ensure that everyone is on the same page and that the children all find out from you.
You should focus on support
Rather than blaming each other, focus on showing that you will both support the children. Tell them that the divorce is not their fault and that you both love them. Answer any questions that they have about the future or the divorce process.
Find the right time
In addition to considering how you talk to the children, think carefully about when you do it. Try to avoid tests at school, holidays, birthdays, graduations and other major events or stressors. Additionally, pick a time when you can talk to the kids for as long as they need, especially if you think they are going to have many questions. This should not be a rushed conversation or something you just bring up at the spur of the moment.
Divorcing with children often brings up major questions about custody rights, support obligations and much more. It is important to understand your legal rights and options.
